Grief and Loss

Many Kinds of Loss

The death of a loved one is the loss most people connect with grief, and it can be one of the hardest experiences in a lifetime. Grief can also follow other changes that reshape daily life. These losses are sometimes overlooked because others do not see them as losses, but your grief is valid either way. Grief may follow:

• 01Divorce, separation or the end of an important relationship
• 02A move away from a home, school or community
• 03Changes in caregivers or in who lives at home
• 04The loss of a job, role or sense of purpose
• 05Changes in health, independence or ability
• 06The loss of a future you had hoped for

How Grief Can Affect Adults

Adults may move through waves of emotion that arrive without warning, set off by a song, a date or an ordinary moment. Grief can also affect the body and mind, bringing fatigue, changes in sleep or appetite, trouble concentrating and a sense of moving through the day on autopilot.

Some people stay busy to keep the pain at a distance, while others find it hard to do anything at all. Holidays, anniversaries and milestones can bring grief back to the surface, even years later. None of this means you are grieving the wrong way.

How Grief Can Affect Children and Teens

Children grieve too, though it may not look the way adults expect. A young child may seem fine one moment and deeply upset the next, ask the same questions again and again, or show distress through changes in behavior, sleep, school performance or physical complaints. Teens may grieve privately or lean on friends more than family, and their grief may come out as irritability or withdrawal.

A child may also revisit a loss at later ages as they come to understand it in new ways. Age-appropriate counseling gives young people a place to express what they feel and build coping skills, with parents and caregivers involved when appropriate.

Grieving as a Family

When a family shares a loss, each person may grieve differently. One person may want to talk while another needs quiet. A parent may hold back tears to protect a child, and a child may hide sadness to protect a parent. These differences can create distance at the very time family members need one another.

Family counseling offers a shared space to talk about the loss, understand one another’s ways of grieving and adjust to changes in roles and routines. It can also be a place to consider how the family wants to remember the person or the life that has changed.

When Grief Feels Too Heavy

Grief is a natural process, not a problem to be fixed, and it rarely moves in a straight line. Sometimes, though, grief becomes tangled with depression, or the pain stays so intense that daily life feels impossible to manage. If low mood, hopelessness or withdrawal persist, our page on depression counseling offers more information. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, or call 911 for emergencies.